Warning: this post is written half in jest, not to be taken too seriously.
The point I wish to make is, while leading worship, we can say something silly, pray the wrong prayer, use an unwanted song and lower the quality of the worship.
From various worship sessions I've encountered, here are the types of worship leading "styles" that I believe are best avoided:
The Hangman a.k.a. Ancient-of-Days
In terms of song selection, this type simply can't move beyond the songs that were learnt 25-50 years ago; hence called "Ancient-of-Days". The number of songs this type knows is roughly about 7 to 10 and loves to sing the same song in the same musical style 3 zillion times to ensure the song and the congregation are effectively tortured and beaten to death - hence called the Hangman.
The Specialist
This type is sort of the opposite of the Hangman - loves to use only unknown songs that were learnt 10 minutes ago. Has a different set list of unknown songs for every session. Specializes in creating an irritated audience out of any congregation. Strongly believes the worship leader alone must sing and everyone else must only watch and listen. Knows just one verse in the Bible...yup, you guessed it, Psalm 33:3!
The Songwriter
This one believes that every song he/she writes is going to be the next "Open the Eyes of my Heart." Very similar to the Specialist, except this type uses only self written songs from start to finish. Basic objective is to promote one's own songs, worship can go out the window.
The Preacher
Starts a 45 minute worship session with a 15 minute prayer/speech. Follows up with 10 minute monologues after every song. Very effective in ensuring the congregation becomes passive and distracted listeners and not active worshipers.
The Aerobics Instructor
This type starts every song with "raise your hands" or "let's stand/kneel/bow/jump/hop on one leg..." This type is convinced that worship happens only when the congregation rattles, shakes and rolls. Also loves action songs and promotes them at every opportunity with the strange scriptural (mis)understanding that "doing" action songs = becoming child-like.
The Wailing Wall a.k.a The Weeping willow a.k.a The Sobbing Sponge
This type sheds tears before every song, during every song and in between any two songs. Loves to lower song tempo to incredible slow-motion levels and cry harder. Swears by the doctrine that more emotion = better worship.
The Secret Agent
This type doesn't believe in any kind of planning or prep-work. No one (including him/herself or the worship team) knows what songs are in the set-list. Gets on stage with a blank mind and believes the first song that comes to mind is the one the Holy Spirit wants. This style also goes by the name "Led by the Spirit." Don't ask me which spirit.
What about you? Know of other types of worship leaders? Post a comment and have some fun!
Posts
8 comments:
This is hilarious... Learned a lot though. Unfortunately some times I act like the "The Hangman a.k.a. Ancient-of-Days"
Ha ha... good stuff!
that was funny and instructive as well :)
Hilarious....if I may have the cheek to say, you could add another - "Shut-Eye"...which is, yep, you guessed it...one who closes the eyes from start to finish
that was funny and instructive as well :)
This is hilarious... Learned a lot though. Unfortunately some times I act like the "The Hangman a.k.a. Ancient-of-Days"
I know we as human beings look in to these details and categorise.but does god really look in to these.? does he really ask me to be the one with these talents of leading worship?Because i believe worship is gonna be enjoyed by him and not me and others.As a father he will appreciate every attempt that i make to connect his people with him.May be i think differently.Any way that was instructive .
Sorry guys ,misunderstood the article.Agreed to the above.your time with god is personal but leading a community or church is responsibility .i truely agree with gangai,that many a times we fail to know or understand the need of the church and get stuck in our comfort zone,while leading people to worship god.any way this article has made me think a lot...i apologise about the other comment...just trying to figure out where i fit in ...sort of come in every thing..
Post a Comment
Go ahead, tell us what you think, start a discussion!